Pointlessness is Good !!!!

Hmm......What to write.....!!!
After a long time I am falling short of words to express myself...Now that is very unlike me. I wonder why? I don't know how these past few days have been. I really have no idea. I've never been so high and so low at the same time. I've never experienced such incontrovertible ecstasy or such a growing pain somewhere in the middle simultaneously. It’s as if I am falling down a bottomless pit, frantically waiting for the next moment of my life, smiling at me with a new set of problems. Have you ever been in the middle of nowhere at some point in your life? That’s exactly where I am. Well, the next time your there, you'll find a sign what’ll say - "I was here too!" That's me now.

That apart, I am happy to say, that I am a graduate now- not that it has much significance though - I knew it would happen, but a "feel good" reflection anyway. There have been a lot of changes in my lifestyle for the past few days, though I am aware of none of them personally. I have been told by those close to me that I have suddenly started staring at abstract things (like a fan) for no reason, for long periods of time(especially during exams), I have been watching fewer movies, I have become active on Gtalk, I have been travelling a lot( thanks to my interboos), and I have suddenly become excited as never before. Whether this is a temporary phase or a permanent nomenclature, only time will tell. But it is something which has been occupying a lot of my mind lately - this sensational feeling, butterflies in my stomach kind of a thing. I've got a better interpretation - imagine a trapeze artist doing somersaults in your stomach. Yeah - that's it. Your insides squirm and churn as if you've just been on a rollercoaster. I can experience that thrill now.

A few days back, I had this perennial talk with a close friend of mine about our purpose of studying so much- B.Tech or B.com followed by an MBA. This friend of mine cleverly settled her argument by saying that she was confused. So, I could do no better than salute her "If I get it, I take it up" attitude which placed her so comfortably on the lap of destiny. But hey, I didn't like to think that was the case with me. I did not 'want' to think the same. Yes, I thought to myself," I have always been clear about what I want to do in life". So I said blatantly that I knew since the very beginning that I had the words ' B.Tech' emblazoned on my chest since the very day I was born.

I realize now that I became an engineer just because I was good enough to become an engineer. It wasn't the only thing I wanted to do in life. I became an engineer because it was something I "thought" I always wanted to do, not somwthing I always wanted to do. This just went to show that all was pointless.These four years had been about building up a knowledge base I would never utilise in my entire life. But, it had been a learning experience all the way. I thought about the amount of subjects I had studied and the percentage of implementation of the same in the industry. I got my answer instantly - zero. Who cared about the 5th normal form, whether a sphygmomanometer is used to test mental illness? All the industry cared about was whether we could take on anything new and master it in time - a day before the exam that is J

So , as I bid a humble adieu to these four charming little years of my life, I look forward to a new mode and methodology of taking and giving Gyan - MBA. I don't know what I am getting myself into - as usual. But I know that it is the marketing industry is where I see myself in 40 years from now - not being a pain in the neck of a 22 year old fellow like me, asking him to churn out a gibberish programming code in a language understood only by aliens.

As far as the culmination weeks of these four years of my life go- they have been nothing short of spectacular. Its been a Full on final semester packed with a lot of travelling, ZERO number of classes, lots of mixed trips to Kolkata(arrrghhh), and finally- you know what I am talking about, don't you?

Now, I am really looking forward to the next few days, as they will determine, in every possible way, about what my year is going to be about. As the next few days are about "Results"- which are eventually the only tangible things that matter. They affect the 'other' things that “might” matter so drastically. So, I welcome you all to this oh so endless journey of mine and hope to share with you all the HIGHS and lows of my life.....adios